When you come back to Australia during the lead up to Christmas after spending the past few years in the United States with snow falling and temperatures around freezing, you have to be excused for not getting too excited and maybe for even wondering what the party is all about especially when the sun is blazing and the perspiration is running down your back - and you are not even moving.

As I moved into the hall, having negotiated the incredibly tight security at the door (see photos), I could see that there were little snowmen on the tables and Christmas crackers in more than ample supply. Memories of my childhood came rushing back and, Ah, now I knew, it is a Christmas Party. Excuse me but, while it is 33°F at home, it was 33°C for the party.

But you know, I think I was the only one who felt that something was amiss, sort of out of place. Everyone else, all 127 of the members of the Burleigh Heads RSL Sub-Branch and their guests were quite comfortable and ready to sit down, watch a slide presentation complied from many past events, sip or guzzle on their favorite beverage - mainly ice cold ales, chat with old and new friends alike and feast on a typical Christmas faire of .... well cold turkey, cold chicken, cold ham and salad???? - Hey what's with all this cold stuff? Back home, we do the good old fashion roast thing and fill the houses with wonderful aromas that fill your heads and last for days.

And also, where was the tree filled with all those magnificent treasures that have been collected over the years? And where was SANTA? I looked hard and long, For a minute, I thought that I was in luck when I turned around and saw this towering hulk of a man with a big, scruffy white moustache and hair to match but then I realized, there was no beard and even worse, no red suit. Damn, NO SANTA!! I wanted to throw a tantrum but then I remember what my mother always said would happen to me if I did that in public - they would probably lock her up now for just her thoughts let alone her actions.

However, I have to say that once I got through the security, the milling throngs of highly-excited would-be children and was escorted to my table with my date for the day, Harry Nesbitt, the party took on a familiar ring as we grabbed our drinks - a beer for Harry and a scotch for me - and sat down to talk about things that we had shared in common. It wasn't long before the big guy with the moustache introduced me to this buxom beauty, Nikki, and even tried to set me up with her for sometime next week. Wow, you guys do know how to party and you move fast too.

Next came a time to remember all those who can no longer share this Christmas gathering with us for they have been beckoned to share the table with the Lord himself. I could feel, more than ever before, just how important this couple of minutes were. They did not detract from the festivities but, in fact, in their own way brought the spirits of all those others into the Hall with us. Perhaps these are the Christmas Angels and they were flying around enjoying everything except the faire with us as they have their own 'Heavenly Manor'.

Before too long, it was time to 'grab some grub' as I heard some say. Away we went, left-right, left-right, left. It wasn't long before we were seated again but with no interest in talking as you had to move quickly to avoid the cold Christmas dinner getting hot. No wonder they say that this place is down under and often shown upside down. Even the food works in reverse. And Oh my God, the toilet does swirl the other way! I just could not believe it. How do they do that?

After a wonderful meal and another round of drinks, the heat of the day just didn't seem to matter anymore. But, I kept asking myself, 'Where, oh where, was SANTA?'

The party ended with the drawing of the raffle prizes - what an interesting way to hand out gifts - first you have to buy tickets to have a chance at a gift and then your chances are in the hands of the man with the Mo, or as they would say, it is the luck of the draw. What ever happened to that old idea of getting a gift according to how good you had been all year; you remember, don't you, a piece of coal for the those who had been naughty and the angel on the top of the tree if you were really lucky. :-) Anyway, obviously there were many not so good people in the gathering as only about a quarter of them received a gift. Better luck next year!

To all who were there, thanks for the experience. Next year, I will bring my own SANTA.